LIFE CHANGES
The past few weeks have spent most of my time at a hospital...my elderly parent has taken a turn for the worst. Now at home and requiring 24 hour care. I have given up work for three months to see how the future pans out. Am in a position in which I do not get help because I do have assets, no money, but land for my retirement, and carer's benefits are subject to an asset test.
Down the stairs
Will go with the flow for the next two months and do have to reconsider opening up my business, I shut down some years ago because of an injury to my leg whereas could not work for a lengthy period.
Up the stairs
Should I be able to survive on my own without the demands of shift work may be an answer. The leg is functioning quite well now and do not know if I can pick up the pieces and start from scratch again at my age. My former business was physically demanding and have suffered Q Fever in the past few years from helping a cow deliver a calf and still suffer bouts of extreme fatigue. This turning may be a blessing and force me to get mentally and physically fit again and pull my socks up not just skid my wheels as have tended to do in the past few years.
Empty corridors
Blurry empty esculators
Spooky deserted multi story car parks
At the moment am up to my insomnia tricks and can listen to my music and read a few books for a few days at least and then will have to get cracking and sort out the immediate future.
This may have been an omen as my former business was involved with horses and whom should be in the wards for hours on end looking to the cares of his sick wife, who had the best laugh and was a joy in herself. Darby (Richard) McCarthy featured like a meteour across world racing primarily in the 60's. I had met Darby shortly after he had ridden his first Stradbroke winner in 1963. Darby had magic in his silken touch on the mouth of the racehorses. A legend in his own lifetime and the instant world fame for an Aboriginal lad from the deserts of Cunnamulla proved to be a little overwhelming at times.
Darby is a friendly man and happy to share his experiences , the good, the bad and the ugly. I found it a privilege and joy to spend time with this unique man and his generosity of sharing which is more evident in Aboriginal Australians, although I feel Australians somewhat unique attitude which I enjoy comes from this ancient land and it weaves it spell and embraces us all with its magic of where we belong.
The other plus is perhaps will be able to spend more time with the Grandchildren. I do look after Joe for three days each fortnight and sometimes am so tired after hectic shifts and then the full on attention of a four year old. My grandchildren enjoy the insomnia of their Grandma...when used to visit the other kids from son no 1 Sarah, heard me saying I am somwhat a little weird and need to do things throughout the night...weel at about 2 am., in she comes with her blankets and sheets, Grandma Lizzie I am feeling weird can I read or watch DVD's with you and she does...ha ha and Joe last time he was here Gama at 2 am in the morning, "Can WE have an ice block" Why not I say and sit up in the night after he has selected a green one and heaven forbid a red one.....Do you feel like a lemonade too Gama......"Sure Joseph" I watch his toes curl up with pleasure.......I wonder if he tells his parents...I think not he he
Joe & Cleo.....
Down the stairsWill go with the flow for the next two months and do have to reconsider opening up my business, I shut down some years ago because of an injury to my leg whereas could not work for a lengthy period.
Up the stairsShould I be able to survive on my own without the demands of shift work may be an answer. The leg is functioning quite well now and do not know if I can pick up the pieces and start from scratch again at my age. My former business was physically demanding and have suffered Q Fever in the past few years from helping a cow deliver a calf and still suffer bouts of extreme fatigue. This turning may be a blessing and force me to get mentally and physically fit again and pull my socks up not just skid my wheels as have tended to do in the past few years.
Empty corridors
Blurry empty esculators
Spooky deserted multi story car parks
At the moment am up to my insomnia tricks and can listen to my music and read a few books for a few days at least and then will have to get cracking and sort out the immediate future.
This may have been an omen as my former business was involved with horses and whom should be in the wards for hours on end looking to the cares of his sick wife, who had the best laugh and was a joy in herself. Darby (Richard) McCarthy featured like a meteour across world racing primarily in the 60's. I had met Darby shortly after he had ridden his first Stradbroke winner in 1963. Darby had magic in his silken touch on the mouth of the racehorses. A legend in his own lifetime and the instant world fame for an Aboriginal lad from the deserts of Cunnamulla proved to be a little overwhelming at times.
Darby is a friendly man and happy to share his experiences , the good, the bad and the ugly. I found it a privilege and joy to spend time with this unique man and his generosity of sharing which is more evident in Aboriginal Australians, although I feel Australians somewhat unique attitude which I enjoy comes from this ancient land and it weaves it spell and embraces us all with its magic of where we belong.
The other plus is perhaps will be able to spend more time with the Grandchildren. I do look after Joe for three days each fortnight and sometimes am so tired after hectic shifts and then the full on attention of a four year old. My grandchildren enjoy the insomnia of their Grandma...when used to visit the other kids from son no 1 Sarah, heard me saying I am somwhat a little weird and need to do things throughout the night...weel at about 2 am., in she comes with her blankets and sheets, Grandma Lizzie I am feeling weird can I read or watch DVD's with you and she does...ha ha and Joe last time he was here Gama at 2 am in the morning, "Can WE have an ice block" Why not I say and sit up in the night after he has selected a green one and heaven forbid a red one.....Do you feel like a lemonade too Gama......"Sure Joseph" I watch his toes curl up with pleasure.......I wonder if he tells his parents...I think not he he
Joe & Cleo.....
posted by Lizzie's Insomnia at
3:33 AM
5 Comments:
Oh Lizzy, you do have your plate full at the moment. Do I read right? Are you caring for your elderly parent 24 hrs/per day?
That's a bummer, no benefits even though no income. No wonder you have insomnia. I have to go back to work 3 days a week next school term. I would prefer not to but with the financial situation its necessary. So like you I try to find the positives mostly keeping the grey matter working.
Diane, You are always positive and a joy to read....I am in limbo at present but find in life a door closes another opens....have had the opportunity to visit a few blog in the early hours this morning...ate a whole rainbow cake with cream an inch thick between the colours of the cake, and a whole packet of chocolate eclairs...so much for getting fit....
For the present am doing the twenty four hour thing until the situation goes one way or the other.
AND do you know the hardest part is dealing with her relatives who may if she was lucky visit once in eighteen months and are now advising me
"she should be in a home", "she should have a heart operation and a pacemaker inserted", "she should have Blue Care call once a day".
OK I have been employed in the past years lately at night in a high care facility and dementia ward. Locked in at night with 16 patients on my own but can call to other facilities for assistance. The Doctors advise she would not be benefited by a pacemaker, "but her twin brother has one and he is doing fine"....Half my shifts were night duty the other half calling on people employed in a CACPS programme. They do not even know what I do or listen...and yesterday one of her brothers visited and wanted details of her bank account.... he had one of her letters in his hand opened and told me he needed her bank details....I will give him the benefit of the doubt about concern for his sister who he hardly spent the time of day with and believe it was out of concern for her welfare...This is an unexpected unwanted complication dealing with delicate egos "I rang the hospital and she had gone home"........I could understand it if they had ever ever done anything for her or my father.
Diane I should not be venting these concerns but even in the few days have stopped working have been finding life very different and need to adjust. When and if she becomes alittle stronger will go for rides on my horses but at the present is bedridden largely.....does struggle out occasionally. Very tired today as had to get up and sit with her brother and his wife for a couple of hours and is not supposed to sit up should have her legs raised so that she does not accumulate fluid in her lower limbs......I will not vent after this little episode and may erase later on....
Oh my goodness, I really feel for you. Not fair in your situation when you own land = assest, that you are unable to receive any money. Happens all the time to so many people, and I don't know how they manage.
Looking after a person on your own 24/7 is a very big responsibility, and you need sleep, time for yourself, but you can't do that but you can't keep going on doing what you are doing either. Something has to give, and because you can't sleep some nights that certainly doesn't help.
Please try to take care of yourself, for if you don't - who is going to take care of you. :)
Oh Lizzie you are going through a tough time of it...I know exactly what you are dealing with when so called family appear from nowhere and put their two bobs worth in...
Hopefully you will be able to get some sort of government assistance to help you out financially...
Like Margaret has said, don`t forget the important one here...YOU....
As for the grandkids I reckon i`ll be like you, give in to their whims...Nothing like having ice blocks in the middle of the night...lol..
Hope all works out for you...
Thank you Margaret and Mandy for your kind words, which are beneficial for my peace of mind.
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