Saturday, July 2, 2011

Tripping about Oz and Thinking

I have been away from this site for some months thinking and wondering about the rest of my life.  I had been grounded in a good way during the past years initially caring for my father before he died and then my mother who recently passed away in quite a tragic and unsettling manner in amongst the devastating flooding in this area which did contribute to her final stroke and subsequent hospitalization and death.

Herein lies the dilemma which may confront many in the coming years as to when to call a halt to procedures.  I am having much difficulty coming to grips with the last weeks of my mother's passing and did not wish to disturb my family but figure should they read this is for their contemplation as well as mine.

We may be living longer and our health politicians scream this from the rooftops but at what cost and I have serious doubts as to the quality of life in many instances.  Life is precious and the sanctity of life is to be recognized and followed as herin lies the judgement of us as a society.  After what I have witnessed I would suggest perhaps the quality of life should be thrown into the mix or are we and our elected representatives too weak to acknowledge that sometimes enough is enough.  We would not continue with animals and the RSPCA would be called in and we would be fined and dragged through the courts if we did to the animals what we in some instances are doing to our elderly. I am not saying neglect quite the opposite in the procedures and strategies in place.  An example is after a stroke a person in their 90's before the stroke not able to walk but a few steps be placed into intensive physio therapy.  I asked why a paralyzed not able to speak person needed this as the pain medications were lightened off so the assessment could be made.  I was informed so that she could be a one person assist from bed to chair instead of two.  To me this is not in the interests of the elderly stroke victim, who was my mother and could see a downward deterioration each day.   To stop this torture I had to call in a cast of thousands.

   In saying this the care of the elderly is precious and the nursing homes do the very very best they can with a very minimal budget provided by our Government and in most cases the cares and procedures to prolong life are warranted but for those last weeks in some instances the agony and suffering just for those last days and weeks to me needs addressing but of course is a grey area and not voiced anywhere.  Health professionals have their hands tied and can not do anything but follow the procedures.  The procedures are locked in cement and families want life for their parents in many cases at any cost.  I feel that we as a society are looking out for the emotional interests of the families rather than that of the dying parent.  This issue needs to see the light of day as many many families put it in the too hard basket and leave their parent in a nursing home and perhaps visit once a week if that.

I would suggest to those of my generation the baby boomers who will shortly flood the system to breaking point look into preparing and Advanced Health Directive so is set out what your wishes are should you not be able to articulate or cognitively recognize where you are at.

I needed to voice this even if only to two people now I shall move on and try and forget the last weeks of my mother's life where I feel  I had failed to do what she would have wished as I knew full well she could have done without the last weeks of her life, an independent bloody minded proud strong woman who would never have wished for herself the indignities of her last weeks.


Blogger whiteangel said...

Oh Lizzie,
Welcome back.
I know exactly where you are coming from. My late mother's situation was very different - the so called authorities wanted to send my mother home to a blind man, my mother could not walk. Of course my father dug his heels in for he was unable to look after her even with home help. My father got his way with my backup.
Having nursed many people like your late mum I know she was very lucky to have you. You devoted your time, gave her support & love.

Money is a big problem so hence staff cuts as you would know that, therefore making the patient go through more discomfort along with family watching having to deal with an ailing parent at the same time, it's not very nice.
You gave it your all, did your best.
Best wishes,

July 2, 2011 at 5:30 PM  
Blogger Lizzie's Insomnia said...

Thank you Margaret for your continuing support over the past years I am very appreciative and know you to be a kind caring and considerate woman a pleasure to know albeit in cyber space....:))

July 2, 2011 at 5:38 PM  
Blogger whiteangel said...

Thanks Lizzie for your lovely words :)

July 2, 2011 at 10:48 PM  
Blogger Katerina said...

Hi Lizzie, your story is very touching. I'm sorry about the loss of your parents. I know what it feels like.
You've got such beautiful pictures on your blog, I really love them.

October 3, 2011 at 8:01 PM  
Blogger Lizzie's Insomnia said...

Thank you Katerina...:))

January 17, 2012 at 8:01 PM  

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